One Step At A Time
by mightystar
Summary: Lucas, Maya, Zay, Riley and Farkle are all in their sophmore year, with problems that a history lesson can't fix. Focusing on Maya, this story deals with her hard life as a teenager with bigger issues than school.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first story, told from Maya's POV and in their sophmore year

"Maya, are you listening?" Riley asked me while I started to drift off.

"Uh, yeah go on," I said with a tired voice, last night was one of the worst nights this year. I couldn't sleep at all.

"I was saying that I had to babysit Auggie tonight, do you want to come?"

"Sure," I answered quickly, I'd jump at the chance to get out of my house tonight.

"Okay, it's tonight at 6," She squinted her eyes and me, "Are you okay? You seem unusually tired today."

"Yeah I'm fine," I said pushing her out of the way, "See you in your dad's class, okay?"

"Okay, bye Maya," I could barely hear her finish I ran off so quick. I couldn't handle talking to her.

Riley was getting closer to figuring out what was going on at home. But I couldn't tell her, what would she say? After all of this time I was lying to her, straight to her face, she was going to be upset. But I couldn't tell her, she wouldn't understand. She's Riley, my rock, the one who makes everything better. She would try to fix this, but she can't. This is something that riley can't fix.

As I made my turn to the next hallway, near Mrs. Degra's class, I heard a voice, "Hey Hart," I turned around and there he was, Charlie Gardner.

"Hey Charlie," I said trying hard to get to Mrs. Degra's class. the last thing I wanted to do was talk to Charlie, he always tries to make conversation with me just to get to Riley.

"How are you?" He asked me grabbing my hip so that I turned around to face him.

"Fine," I said swatting his hands away.

"Good, that's good," He stepped in front of me so that I couldn't move, "How's Riley?"

I felt a nervousness strike me. Charlie and Riley Had gotten together the first year of high school because Riley stopped liking Lucas. Ever since she broke up with him, Charlie has been obsessed to make riley jealous, with me. He would do anything, and I had experienced it firsthand.

"Fine, listen Charlie I'm not talking to you. You and I are different people now, and I'm done with you," I went to the right of him, straight to the class, but he grabbed my wrist.

"You are never done with me Hart, me and you are forever." He dropped my hand as Mrs. Degra came out.

"What's going on here?" She asked suspiciously eyeing Charlie.

"Nothing, I was just catching up with Maya, here. See you later," He smiled and walked off. As if nothing had happened. I wanted to scream, he never got in trouble. But what would I do if Lucas found out?

"Ms. Hart, are you coming?"

"Uh yes, right in!" I said walking into the classroom. I knew that I had to watch my back in case of Charlie or anyone fearful showed up, but how?


	2. Chapter 2

This is also told from Maya's POV, I think I'm just going to stick with it from her side.

After the first 4 periods, we had lunch. Charlie didn't sit with us anymore because Farkle told him not to. Farkle was the only one that knew about me and Charlie, Lucas would want to kill Charlie and Riley would just cry. Farkle would understand. He did, and I'm glad that I told him.

"Did we have any homework in math?" Lucas asked our table.

"Yeah, we had two pages in the textbook, I'll text them to you," I said, I had already written down the homework.

"Why don't you come over and we can do it together? I need help on it, I don't understand anything on it," Lucas said while smiling.

"Sorry, I can't. I'm going over to Riley's to babysit. I'm not even that good at math, why don't you ask Farkle? Where is Riley?" I asked now concerned about her whereabouts.

"I don't know, but do you think that I could come? Farkle is way ahead of us and probably doesn't remember it." He said glancing towards Farkle.

"Uh sure Huckleberry, it's at 6," I looked around, she wasn't anywhere in sight. That wasn't good. Riley never missed a class, even lunch. She was usually the first one here. 

"Okay," He said, scooting closer to me. Lucas and I were just friends, but we had grown very close since freshmen year. We hung out all of the time.

I observed our table. We looked like an odd bunch. You wouldn't have expected me and Lucas to be so close, or Riley and Zay to be even closer. Just this year they had started to date. They were head over heels for each other, and it made everyone happy. Farkle and Smackle had broken up since Smackle moved to Colorado. It was a hard time for Farkle, but I listened. I was always good at that, being the listener.

"Hey guys," Riley said to the table, extra cheery.

"Hey Riles," I showed the same cheery vibe as her. I knew that she was going to say something exciting.

"Hey," Zay said to Riley and kissed the top of her head. Something felt off, I looked to the right of our table and there Charlie was, glaring at the kiss. He seemed to always be around Riley, or me. It was like an obsession.

"Guess what, no wait don't because you're never going to believe it," She announced obviously to happy for her own good.

"What is it Riley?" Lucas asked seeming a little tired of Riley's enthusiasm.

"We get to go on a class retreat to Maine for my dad's class! Isn't that exciting!"

I looked around, no one seemed excited. But I was. A whole week away from home, where the nightmares were slowly turning into reality. I could've jumped. But then I realized who I would be with. All of my friends, plus Charlie. They were going to find out what happened with Charlie and me. But they'd also find out about the nightmares, and why they were happening.


	3. Chapter 3

I rang the doorbell the Riley's apartment and Lucas answered.

"Hey Huckleberry," I said as I entered Riley's house. I immediately saw Riley at the stove. Topanga was working late.

Riley turned around at smiled at me, "I'm making Mac and cheese."

"Cool, where's Auggie?"

"In his room, why don't you two go get him, he says that he'll only come out for you guys."

I nodded and started my way to Auggie's room. I put my hand on the wall, feeling the different types of textures on the wall. I always did this on my way to Auggie's room. Even though it was just paint, I felt like it told a story. I know it was stupid, but I could make the wall's story anything, I could control the indent's destiny. With my own life, however, anything can fly at you. I remembered a romance story that I used to think about all of the time. It was one where the horse wanted to be with its tail but it could never see it, it sat there thinking about the sadness day after day. I don't know how that has anything to do with texture, but I didn't care. I saw the outline of Auggie's door and knocked.

"Hey Auggie, you in there buddy?" I asked, Auggie was like a little brother to me. I was like another older sister to him. Lucas was more like a best friend of Auggie's.

"Yes," Auggie responded, obviously upset with something.

"Can we come in?" Lucas asked leaning in closer to the door.

The door was unlocked and we came in. I could see read streaks from tears on Auggie's face. I sat down on his bed and started combing through his hair. "How was your day?" I asked him, trying to make conversation.

"Not good," He said with a pouty lip.

"Why?" Lucas asked I nudged him, Auggie should talk when he wants to.

"I don't want to talk about it," Auggie said, "With him," he whispered into my ear.

I looked at Lucas and he locked he looked back at me. I directed my eyes to the door and he understood. He left, looking back at us as if he was longing for something.

"What's wrong buddy?" I asked him now cradling him in my arms.

"They beat me up Maya on purpose," He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Why?" I asked suddenly upset. Someone was messing with Auggie and they needed to be put in their place.

"They said that I looked like a baby, and that I couldn't handle myself. They said that I would just go crying to my mommy if someone even touched me," He swallowed his spit and cleared his throat, "I said no but they wanted me to prove it. I didn't want to fight them, so I walked away. But they were too fast. They each took turns at hurting me. Maya, it really hurt."

"Why couldn't you tell Lucas?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"He would beat them up, and that's not what I want. I just want them to stop. I knew that I could tell you because you have been bullied too."

"No I haven't, sometimes I was the bully," I said looking at him with a confused look.

"I have seen your marks, you got beat up too."

"That's different Auggie, it's for different reasons and done by different people,"

"It's still done by kids though."

"No it's not Auggie, kids aren't capable of the damage that I have. These marks are here forever, yours will fade away. Mine are not just here on my body, but on my mind. These marks are scars that are for eternity."


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Guys, thanks for the support and reviews it really helps! I'm sorry I only have one chapter this week but I had a volleyball tournament.

"Hey Auggie, don't tell Riley about this okay?" I said to Auggie.

He wiped his nose and nodded. I picked him up and placed him on the ground I hugged him and we began to walk to the kitchen. I could feel Auggie's hand trembling, he was still scared. We reached the kitchen and I could smell the Mac and cheese cooking.

Lucas came up to me and whispered, "What's wrong?" I shook him off, but him being so close to me felt right. But I couldn't. My friends were the perfect ones, I don't want to mess up that world. I used to be able to talk to them, but now things are too serious. My scars get deeper every day, I don't want them to try and fix the marks. Riley and I had started to drift apart in high school. She started to like boys, and I well, I had other issues.

"Dinner's ready!" Riley yelled, placing Auggie in his seat. Auggie looked okay now, which was good. I sat down and Lucas sat beside me.

"Do you think we can work on the math homework after dinner?" Lucas asked me while chewing his food.

"Sure Huckleberry, Riley want to work with us?" I asked her grabbing a roll.

She looked at Lucas and shook her head with a smile. Riley locked eyes with me, and I got the feeling that we weren't just going to do our homework. I sighed, all I wanted was the middle school innocence that we had. I wanted everything to go back to normal. But they wouldn't. High school wasn't the same as middle school. I couldn't just sit at the bay window and cry my problems out. I didn't gossip with Riley over boy troubles anymore, in fact I didn't gossip at all. I'll I did was wear a mask, try to keep it all together. But the paint on my mask was cracking, and my secrets were going to come out. My secrets were going to break everyone, even Zay and Riley. The darkest ones would hurt the most. But I had to keep repainting my mask and fill in the cracks, or else all hell would break lose.

"Ready to go Maya?" He asked me with that Huckleberry smile.

If I went, I could try to be normal. I could try to tell Riley what happened after, and we could laugh about it for hours. I could tuck Auggie in and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I could go home and maybe have a normal life. I could make that mask my real face.

But you wear a mask for a reason, to protect your real face. It can't melt on to your real face. You wear it to tell Riley that you can't talk because you're too tired, and try to sleep it off. You could give Auggie a high five and tell him to stay strong, because the hits will get harder. I could go home and take off my mask, and just as a new scar is healing a new one is formed. Both lives trap you.

I nodded my head and smiled at Lucas's question. I'd do what I have to in order to maintain my masked life.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys this is going to be a short chapter, thanks for the reviews and comments.

As Lucas and I entered Riley's room I put my book bag on her bed. I pulled out my textbook. The least I could do was try to do my math homework before things took a turn. I started on problem one. I sighed. It was exponinetial functions. I hated them, they made me so confused with the curves on the graphs and the difference between linear and exponential equations.

I had reached problem five when Lucas started to talk, "How was your day?" He asked.

"Fine, how about yours?" I asked not paying much attention.

"It was okay, I flunked a test though. But it's okay because it doesn't really matter," I looked up at him.

"Lucas, it matters," I said scooting closer to him.

"No it doesn't, I can get an athletic scholarship if I want to go college," He said shrugging it off.

"What do you mean "if". Lucas, if you don't go to college, you're not going to get a good job," I said in a slow voice.

He moved over towards me, "It doesn't matter Maya, can't we just forget about this?" He asked with tempting eyes. I could tell that he really didn't care about college.

"Lucas, what do you think life is? An easy breeze? No, you have to work hard in order to stay alive. You can't just give up in high-," He stopped me halfway and kissed me. I pulled back.

"Didn't you like it?" He said suddenly seeming concerned.

"Lucas, I don't want any of that crap, you did it in Texas and you're doing it now. Don't kiss me just to shut me up. If you're going to kiss me, mean it," I said remebering the memories of Texas. I was so upset when he didn't take the kiss seroiusly.

"Maya, I am serious," He said and grabbed my face in his hands. I looked into his eyes, not wanting to fall into a trance, but I couldn't resist. I kissed him. He was so warm, and he was a good kisser. I was excited by this human connetion, I had so much adreniline in me. We never seemed possible, but breaking the barriers was my thing. I knew he would be the perfect boyfriend, because he was nearly perfect. I ran my hands through his hair, it was so soft.

"Do you guys need a room?" We were interupted by Riley, looking not so great. She looked hurt almost. I pulled back instantly and wiped my face. But I couldn't figure out why she was upset.

"Sorry Riles, it won't happen again," I said walking towards the door. But she stopped me. She let Lucas go through, but not me.

"Be careful, okay? He doesn't seem like you and him fit. I just don't want you to be with the wrong person." She said with a sadness to her voice.

I looked into her eyes, and I couldn't quite pinpoint what was in them. I just nodded and smiled. I put my arm around her and we walked out of her room.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry about this like REALLY short chapter but I had a lot of homework tonight, thanks for understanding and please keep reviewing :)

Today was the day. today was the Maine trip, looked down upon by all. But of course, Riley was standing bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for the bus to come at 6:30 to drive us to Maine. She looked extremely happy and had a lot of makeup on today. I thought it was weird, but maybe she was planning to look nice for Zay. I had no idea.

"What did you pack?" Riley asked her eyes diverting towards my bag.

"Uh, I don't know the essentials basically," I said trying to look out for the bus.

Riley looked a little annoyed. I knew she would be, she hated when I didn't give complete answers. Her hand was tapping on her thigh. She was just looking out for me, but it got annoying when she did that. Why was it so dire for her to know what I packed? Why couldn't she just be happy with knowing that I could take care of myself? Topanga probably packed half of Riley's bag, so why did she need to know about what was in mine?

I saw the bus coming and Riley waved. I smiled and shook the annoyance out of my face. Riley was just over protective of me with materialized things. I was the one who physically protected her. As we got onto the bus I saw a open seat. I sat down in it and motioned for Riley to sit next to me. She plopped down and sat up extra straight, reapplying lip gloss. Something seemed off.

"Hey Riles, why are you wearing so much makeup?" I asked pulling my hair through my fingers.

"No reason really, I just wanted to today," She said as if it were that simple. But I knew it wasn't, Riley believed in the power of natural beauty, sure a little touch up here and there but nothing major. I suspiciously eyed her but didn't think much of it anymore.

A little while later, while I was doing my nails the bus turned around. It was going to pick up the first half of the kids, which was basically Riley, Charlie Farkle and me. We were just about to pick up Charlie and Farkle when it turned around, towards Riley's apartment complex. I was confused, Mr. Mathews was getting his own ride. I sat at the window thinking when suddenly the bus stopped and guess who came on.

"Uncle Josh!" Riley screamed as she ran to her uncle. He hugged her an ruffled her hair. Then he looked at me and smiled.

"Hey Maya," Josh said with a smile. I nodded back. This was going to be a very long trip. Josh and I had kissed one time when I was a freshman and I hadn't seen him since. I didn't know what was going to happen, at all.


	7. Chapter 7

Please give me more feedback on this because I don't know if I like it or not. Thanks?

Josh. The idea of him was untouchable, he was in a cage. Riley knew about the kiss and didn't like it. So I forgot about him. I spent days pushing him out of my mind, trying to get everything back together. I wanted middle school back so easily, back when it was a small Josh crush and everything was so predictable. Now, it wasn't. every time I turned around something new would be thrown at me, twisting my mind into a pile of stress. My life was broken, but I had to act like it was okay. Push some things out of my mind but focus on the other parts. I was supposed to be a side character in life, almost a foil to Riley. Now, it seemed like more and more of myself was being revealed, making me the focus o attention, and I definitely didn't want that.

Farkle got on the bus and sat next to me, Riley had moved next to Josh. Now I had to wait seven minutes and forty three seconds until Charlie came on the bus, a dreaded moment for me. Farkle could see the worry lines on my face and squeezed my arm for reassurance. I smiled at him, he was Farkle, the one that people trusted. He would always be there.

I kept stealing glances at Josh. He was so tan, his skin a light bronze color. But why was he on the bus? I figured I'd ask him later, when things weren't so awkward.

"Hey guys," Charlie said as he got on the bus. I glared at him but Riley smiled. She thought he was harmless, little did she know of the monster lurking inside of him.

I could feel my breaths quicken. He was so... there. Charlie was always a constant threat. He knew where I lived and he was in a lot of my classes. That was how the whole thing started.

It was near the middle of the school year in the freshmen year, Charlie and I were talking. Riley and Charlie had gotten together a couple months before. I had confided in him about a few things going on at home and he seemed to understand, so we started talking a lot more. Eventually we began to hang out. Things were normal at first, until I started to notice certain things, like he would always grab my hand when we were talking and he would hug me after I talked to him. It started to get weird. But, I didn't think much of it at the time, Riley wasn't around much at the time, so I figured that he just wanted human contact. Anyways, that day he had asked me to go to his house for a movie marathon. I agreed. So after school I walked home and rang his doorbell.

"Hey Hart, what's up?" He asked. I could hear the previews of movies playing in the background. I noticed that the lights were dim and it seemed like no one else was there. So, I sat down and started watching the movie. He shut the door and it started.

We sat in silence for the first couple minutes, he kept scooting closer to me though. I thought that it was really weird. But then he started to kiss me. It started on my neck, and I questioned him.

"What are you doing?" I asked him with confusion on my face.

"Oh come on Hart, you can feel it too. We have a real connection," He said and continued to kiss me.

"You would cheat on Riley?" I asked, Riley and I had gotten into a huge blowout fight earlier and really, I had just wanted payback. She had called me a whore because I had five boyfriends in two months and had a little bit of fun with them. Nothing really, but enough to set Riley off.

"With you? Sure," He said and grinned. I smiled back and I started to kiss him in return. It felt so good to shove her words into her face. Yes, I was being a horrible person, but Riley had no right to say that about me when she couldn't even kiss her boyfriend. I was giving him what he wanted, while retaliating against Riley. I usually wouldn't do something like this, but Riley was quick to judge and I wanted to teach her a lesson.

The next day at school, he said that he would want to do it again and I said no. But he told me something that was ultimately scary and threatening.

"You don't do what I ask? I tell Riley and force her to do more than just kiss me."

He smiled and walked off without saying a word after. I knew what I did was horrible, but what was worse was making my best friend, a strict virgin, do those nasty things with him. So I kept coming, until the end. Charlie had stopped eventually, he was done with me. He said that he had his fun, and that he might be back for more later, but for now he was done.

Eventually, they broke up and I rejoiced. But what I didn't want to happen was Riley to find out, he didn't tell her but kept threatening to. I knew she could be mad at me, to the point of breaking our friendship, and I didn't want that to happen. But now, going to Maine, I didn't know what would happen.


	8. Chapter 8

SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTERS I WANT TO WRITE MORE BUT I DON"T HAVE A LOT OF TIME SORRY BUT THANKS FOR NOT COMPLAINING!

My heart quickens as the awkward silence becomes deadly. Someone has to say something, but who will? I can't say anything or else Charlie will chime in. I look at Farkle with pleading eyes and he knows. Farkle and I have a connection, we know what each other is thinking. I am there to save him and he is there to save me.

"So, Josh, when did you get back?" He asks so innocently. He's good at that, being innocent.

"About a week ago, I needed to take a break from Africa for a while," Josh pushes his hair out of his eyes, "I'm not really sure if I going back."

He looks dead at me with no expression in his eyes. Josh looks hopeless like he's drained from life. His soul was vacuumed by life's troubles, and he's calling for help. But I won't, I won't let my feelings get in the way of my life. We are separate people, our lives on two different paths. He isn't included in my life plan. I don't really know who would be in my life plan, but I know it's not him. So I turn my body towards the seat and close my eyes. I need some air. Suddenly the bus seems cramped. I crack my neck, I can't have a panic attack here. I inhale deeply as if the air will free the conflicts inside of me, but it doesn't. Air is just air.

"You okay Hart?" Charlie asks ready to pounce. I look at him, he isn't making it better. Charlie is a part of the twisting knot inside of my soul.

Riley screams something to the bus driver, I feel like the air is not air, but its molecules are turning against me. The air is gone and the positives at life are now stabbing me, poking me attempting to change to the dark side. I close my eyes and the pounding stops. Something is happening, different than before.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up in a pile of depressed hospital clothes and an iv attached to my arm. I sighed. Great, another big event in my life leading me closer to unveiling the truth.

As soon as Farkle and Riley saw that I was awake they went straight into explaining mode. I had a panic attack. When I heard that I laughed. A panic attack? Seriously? That's child's play compared to what I had to go through at home.

"Maya it's serious, you could have hurt yourself" Farkle said with wide eyes. Wow he actually was concerned.

I just blinked at them. Riley had red streaks on her face, she had obviously been crying. I felt bad but didn't. It wasn't her who had the panic attack it was me. And know she was playing the innocent friend who got all the sympathy. Man up Riley, there are harder things in life.

Suddenly the doctor came in. "Hi I'm doctor Minista, may I speak to maya alone?" She had dark hair and dark skin and carried an official vibe with her. She looked trustful and Farkle and Riley could see that. They left the room leaving me with the doctor. Suddenly the room get more like a prison.

The doctor sat on my bed and looked in her eyes. Pity leaked through them, I didn't know why. She took a breath and once again gave me eye contact. "Well your panic attack wasn't that big and it isn't a concern just a let up. But Maya, I may be completely off, and sorry if I am but we're you or are you abused?"

My mask was revealed. Soon the lies that I told would spill out of my mask creating a volcano of destruction. She would find out about the dark memories of the deep scars and put me in a home where I would figure out my life. But I could tell her a lie, that it used to happen to me and I could cover up the cracks of the mask with lies that would eventually become the inside. I could keep my mask living the White fenced farm dream life. Where me and my stepfather have an u breakable bond. That a belt is just a belt But that's not real. The truth is the sight of a belt gives me chills beyond compare. I get nightmares of the belt screeching my skin me leaving me breathless and slapped with emotions to the point where pretending is the only answer. Where my friends believe that just school is my top priority and failing a test is the end of the world. But it's not the end of the world is not failing a test, it's seeing the start of the light when the belt has hit me too many times too count and my grasp on life is almost gone. My white fenced dream is a vision of what I strive to be but I'm not, but how do I turn into that? Can I? Do I end up happy and content or broken and left alone? What if the authorities don't find anything and my only hope is hope itself. Is it worth it?

I looked the doctor in the eye lifted my head and posed for a smile that would please her

"It's in the past, you have nothing to worry about"


	10. Chapter 10

I was passed okay to go to the campground a few days later, so I went back. As soon as I arrived I smelled the scent of grass. It smelled peaceful. This is what I needed right now, peace. I needed to escape from reality, and the smell filled that need. I walked forward on a dirt road crunching each step, no other human in sight. I stopped and exhaled. This wouldn't last long. Soon, I would go back to my friends and have to put on my mask. Here, I could take it off and breathe complaining only to the wind. It felt nice.

A half hour later I saw my friends around the campfire, Riley and Zay cuddling together. Zay looked pleased but Riley looked lost. She just stared at the fire, her hands on her lap. I walked up and smiled. No one said anything. They all just kind of looked off into the distance. Josh was nowhere in sight, so I sat down next to Lucas. He put his blanket over me and I could smell the him. He smelled safe, like someone who you could spill your heart out to. He could protect me from life itself, from the scary problems of reality. It was tricky. Smells are nothing in the world of real. In this world, how am I sure that revealing my mask would stop problems? How do I know that he wouldn't run away, becoming a scared lost soul? I didn't and kept my feelings and the mask's secrets inside. Everything was the way it should be. I saw Charlie coming over and hugged Lucas tighter. At least he could protect me from Charlie.

"Beautiful night, right guys?" He asked and turned his head towards me. He winked. I closed my eyes, shaking him off. Trying to shake off the memories of the emotional torture he put me through. But I couldn't, it would always be a part of me. A permanent rock in my stomach always reminding me of the past until I can clear my conscience.

"Yeah, reminds me of Texas," Zay said kissing riley's head. He looked up at him and smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. They both looked so pleasant together, so beautiful. I looked at Lucas, looking for a similar connection, but his eyes said different. His eyes communicated a spark. A connection. We didn't look beautiful together, we looked like misfits. But we had a connection. We had feelings. Looking pretty isn't everything. Maybe they did have feelings, but they didn't communicate it to others. I looked away from Lucas, I didn't want to think about how imperfect Riley and Zay were because they were supposed to be the perfect couple. Lucas and I couldn't be, we didn't fit. Suddenly, Riley and Zay looking beautiful wasn't evident anymore. It was back to Riley looking sad and lost, looking for a map to navigate herself.


	11. Note

one step at a time is for adoption for anyone that wants it... I have kind of lost interest in it and feel like I need to start something new so that's it


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